Sophia Network

Stories of empowerment - Amanda Roper

Amanda Roper has been a youth worker for several years and is currently considering a career in teaching.

'Imagine the scene. You are a Baptist Minister and a rather serious, possibly precocious, 11-year-old asks to speak with you on a matter of some importance. She begins with: ‘I think that God is calling me to be a Baptist minister.’  To Clive Jarvis’ credit, he responded with a great deal of respect, love and support. This conversation happened over 20 years ago and I still remember the strong conviction that I had that God was calling me to leadership,  and the overwhelming affirmation that I received from both my minister Clive and Fakenham Baptist Community Church as a whole, not just at that point, but throughout my teenage years.

I was given opportunities to preach, lead children’s work, run a youth celebration and run a youth club with my friends for the younger teenagers. I was given freedom to make mistakes, and there were a healthy number of errors, ranging from some terrible dramas dutifully watched by the rest of church, a healthy dollop of overearnestness, and some over zealous/borderline dangerous youth club sessions. And throughout, I don’t ever remember my age or gender being an issue.

In fact, a youth leader was my advocate. As a teenager, I read Bible notes. My youth leader William used to read the notes as well. Once, he asked me what I thought of the current notes, as they had suggested that it was wrong for women to be in leadership. In truth, I had read them uncritically and been oblivious to the content and the wider theological implication. William, though, was looking out for me and wrote to the editor, asking them to reconsider presenting such a view in the material. It still affects me to think that William went to that effort to encourage me in my calling. He was fighting a battle on my behalf that I didn’t even know existed. He cared for me and valued me.

It is only in later years that I have realised how special that church was to me. I have read the books on women in leadership, taken part in the debates and studied theology. But in truth, my theology has its roots in the practice of my home church. They practised affirmation, encouragement, support, risk, equality and love. They had faith in a young girl and saw potential. I am not currently a Baptist minister, but still feel a calling to leadership in some form, and I will always be grateful for their faith in me.'

Hannah Mudge - who empowered you?

Hannah Mudge is a blogger, writer, activist, feminist and mum-to-be. She works in communications and marketing for The Leprosy Mission England & Wales. Hannah blogs at We Mixed our Drinks

'These two women are not people I know in person. Actually, I came across them by chance, but at a time in my life when I was unsure and searching, hurt and struggling with my place in the church. It was summer 2008 and I had gone through a turbulent few years in my walk with God. I'd got married the year before, and for some time had felt a lot of confusion about my talents, my calling and my opinions. A few years of very mixed messages from church, family members and Christian resources had left me feeling out of place in the church, as if I was somehow in the wrong because I didn't want to buy into the idea of traditional gender roles and the way these were described as "Biblical womanhood".

I hadn't managed to delve into any helpful egalitarian resources, or find anyone who, like me, was interested in gender equality issues. I'd just been made to feel like I was going against scripture one too many times - I was young and felt conflicted, and as if I had no-one to talk to. Was I really "selfish" for wanting a career? Was my interest in global gender issues "unbiblical"? And what was God calling me to do in all this?

My husband and I were camping at the Momentum festival for the week and I was excited to see that there were some seminars that looked like they might be applicable to my concerns. At last, I didn't feel alone, as I attended Elaine Storkey's session on "Global women" and Jo Saxton on "Women in leadership". These two women spoke for just an hour or so, but through their teaching I was able to see clearly for the first time that I wasn't the odd one out - that I could be outraged about women bearing the brunt of poverty or trafficking and that my strong personality wasn't a bad thing. I've heard them both teach on various occasions since and have always been so blessed and encouraged by what they've had to say.

By the end of my time at Momentum I felt so differently about everything - and certainly much more positive. One evening as I was praying about my "calling" and how I could serve God, I felt Him simply say: "Get stuck in, and I will show you the way to go." Later that year I started my blog. I started getting more involved in activism. I started trying to educate myself better about certain issues and set an example of a "woman like me" to others. And so far, I've felt incredibly empowered. I'm now in such a different place to where I was in 2008 - in my job, my interests outside of work and my marriage. And I truly believe that this was the start of it all.'

You can read about who empowered Jo Saxton in her contribution to our series - that's the exponential potential of empowerment!

Stories of empowerment - Sally Hitchiner

Sally Hitchiner is an anglican priest in London and regularly reviews current affairs on Sky News. Part of her current role is to lead a congregation of people who don't feel they fit into ordinary church, many of whom have been homeless. Prior to ordination she spent four years as a youth worker and continues to have an interest in empowering young people and students.

'Through my life there have been some deeply inspirational women who, knowingly or unknowingly, have spurred me on from being a 12-year-old exploring Christianity for myself to being a strong Christian leader in my 20s.

But the greatest influence on my ministry as a teenage girl was, in fact, a man in his early twenties. John was a church community worker working for a church in my local area. He seemed genuinely passionate about God so when I was looking for a "grown up" to invest in the CU in the girls school I was at, he was the person I thought of. He agreed and came along to our little CU meetings whenever he could. He met up with me and the other girls who I drew into leadership and was did anything he could to train us in mission and ministry.

After about a year he felt God was reminding him to invest more actively in the next generation of leaders. He looked around and decided I was it, so he did what ever he could to help me to grow in ministry. Whenever he was invited to speak at something he took me with him. He included me in overseas mission teams he led, he threw me into preaching to people who were a lot older than me in the UK. Anything he could bring me along to he did. And he spent time with me, lots of time, inviting me to hang out with him and his housemates as they tried to live a christian life in their local community.

"STOP! STOP!" I hear you cry! This sounds like the pastoral equivalent of a barbecue at the start of an episode of Casualty - you know at some point someone is going to end up with third degree burns! But no one did. It was entirely above board, there was no chemistry whatsoever from either side and I'm so grateful that he didn't let the evangelical fear of teenage girls stop him investing in my life.

The experience of so many passionately Christian young women, then and now, is that they're held at arm's length by leaders in the church (because almost all of the leaders are men who are, to some extent, scared of them). It creates a culture where girls are treated as if they’re toxic and this tears away their confidence to lead.

When I recall how John simply applied Paul’s direction to Timothy, how he genuinely treated me as a younger sister, with all purity, I see how possible it is to live differently to that. How it’s possible just to engage with young women as they are, with their ideas and passions and hopes for the church. Engaging with them as Jesus does and to see them start to believe that God could use them to make a difference in the wider world.

I'm not advocating being stupid. John was sensible: he brought a female post graduate student in his church to be equally involved in our CU with him, there were always other people involved when we met for things, and I think things might have been different if I hadn’t reacted well.

But his investment in me changed how I saw my calling. A respected man in leadership believed in me as every bit as much a leader as he was. Suddenly I thought “I could do things!”, I started to believe God could use me to change the world and those 2 years of investment still effects me as I now lead men and women in the church today.'

Empowering women - Mandy Marshall

Mandy Marshall is the Co-Director of Restored, an international Christian Alliance to transform relationships and end violence against women. She has travelled and trained extensively over the last 17 years with her work.

‘You can do it’ came the rapid reply from Richard, ‘I know you can do it. You can’t see it, but I can.’ Richard Hanson was the Photographer at Tearfund at the time and fellow team member on the Staff council consultation group. We had spent the previous year or more formulating a new form of representation for staff within Tearfund. We wanted to propose a different model that combined legal vigour with a covenant before God in staff/management relations. It had been a difficult path to reach the point of acceptance from both staff and management. There was lots of prayer, consultations, voting before a final structure was proposed, agreed and put in place.

We were now at the point of proposing staff to take on the role of representing staff to management. I had always assumed that one of the staff in a more senior role than me would take on the all important and key position of Chair of Staff Council. The person needed to have an understanding of the process we had just been through, be sympathetic to the values on which the new structure and way of working would be based. As the role was the first of its kind, it also had the opportunity to set the right direction for the future. I assumed this would have been Richard who would take on this role. When he informed me that he was about to leave Tearfund my immediate reaction was, ‘Who is going to Chair Staff Council now?’ His response was to tell me I could do it. I protested strongly, ‘What? Me? Don’t be stupid. I can’t do it.’ I then listed a host of reason as to why I would be unsuitable to take on this crucial role. In response Richard stood there and dismantled every single one of them. 

 ‘I’m too young, inexperienced. I’ve never done it before.’ I stated. ‘Neither have I but I am confident you could do it. You have sat in the same meetings I have and heard the same information I have. What’s the difference between you and me? I know you can do it. What’s more, I think you would be the right person to do it. You have the right attitude and approach and you are committed to seeing it done in the right manner.’ After a long chat, Richard’s final attempt was to say, ‘How would you feel if someone else took on the role and made a hash of all the hard work we have put in over the last few years because you felt you were too inexperienced to do it?’. For me that was it. I was left in a real quandary of feeling completely inadequate for the task/role in hand but was really challenged by Richard on my reluctance to step up into a highly visible leadership position.

I went away and prayed and decided to put myself forward as Chair, if no-one else came forward to do it. No-one did. I was duly unanimously elected as Tearfund’s first Chair of Staff Council and led it for it’s first three years. It thrust me into a leadership position and I had a steep and very rapid learning curve. He was right though, I was able to do it. I simply needed to believe it myself.

I would never have considered stepping into leadership so soon or in such a high profile way had it not been for Richard’s encouragement. His patience, conviction, convincing and not letting me get away with pathetic excuses, meant I faced the reality of my own potential. This, coupled with the desire to see the job done well, led me to my first formal leadership position in an organisation.'

Sharon Prior - who empowered you?

Sharon Prior is a coach, mentor, lecturer and the co-founder of The Sophia Network

'Mr Faraway, my head of sixth form, was the first person who empowered me to come out of my comfort zone and try something different that I didn’t think I could do. He made me feel that I could get a job in what was at the time a male-dominated area – pathology. I did get a job in a local hospital and worked my way up into Senior Management before leaving to go to Bible College. I will always be grateful to Mr Faraway for seeing something in me and encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone.

Then Peggy came into my life! Peggy was a 72-year-old lady, who had served God faithfully throughout her life. I got to know her at my church when I was thinking about going to bible college and she asked me round for coffee. For four years before she died she wrote me letters and encouraged me in my faith, helping me to understand things as a new Christian. She challenged and empowered me to achieve my full God given potential in a very quiet and unassuming way. Nobody knew of Peggy’s ministry to me, as it was all ‘behind the scenes’.

I was able to take all that Peggy had taught me about investing in the next generation and use it to help those in the generation below me. My greatest excitement has been seeing young people taking over the leadership of things that I have led in the past. I’ve seen young people passing on the baton to those younger than them. Many people live transformed lives as a result of the legacy that Peggy left. She could have just sat in church each week and lived her days in retirement, but she chose not to and this resulted in many lives touched by her ministry of investment, not in the monetary sense, but investment in lives, which is much more important.

You wouldn’t have ever heard of Peggy if you hadn’t read this story; I can honestly say that I would not be the woman I am today if it had not been for Peggy. As you mentor another person in the way that Peggy mentored me, you are doing it for the good of the church in the future. What an awesome calling and legacy to leave!'

Stories of empowerment - Louise Kenyon

Louise Kenyon is the director of the Theology, Youth Work and Ministry Course at Nazarene Theological College Manchester

'A sending church…

I recently had the opportunity to attend a service at a church I went to during my late-teens and early twenties. Like so many other people, this period of my life was significant in the development of my self understanding and identity, my beliefs, discovering my gifts or what career I might pursue. As I sat through this service as a visitor known to some but aware that there were many new faces, I was acutely aware of those who were missing; like me some have moved from the area, some known to me had died, and a minority have left that church for other reasons though nonetheless all part of my history. As I looked at the faces of those who remain and those who welcomed me, eager to know what I was doing, how my job and ministry are going, I was genuinely warmed not only by their welcome but by my own memories of the role many of them have played in shaping my identity, beliefs, gifts and leadership.

One of my old history teachers was in the congregation and I felt moved to thank her for her encouragement and faith in me as a high school student (and she says, “her persistent nagging”) during a rebellious stage in my academic journey. I shared with her that she had been on my mind just that week (25 years after she taught me!) as I began the application process for PhD research partly inspired by her teaching and subject area. I was in conversation with two old friends – now married – who I see rarely but care for deeply. It was a joy to hear that one had just passed his degree in theology and to hear about his ministry. I was inspired by hearing the other friend share some of their stories from the past year and was mindful of her steadfast Christian faith and able to reflect on the positive influence, models of leadership and care both of these friends have been to me and to many young people with whom they have met during their years in youth work.

Finally, as I watched various people taking part in the service, I was thankful to have been part of such a church. I was thankful that I could see young people and adults participating in so many different ways as I had been given opportunity and I wondered for a moment about the ethos, leadership and discipleship demonstrated by this church over the years. In my wondering I remembered the first person who greeted me when I entered the church an hour earlier. I was welcomed by the same elder who, when I first discussed my call to retrain and study at theological college, emphasised, “We’re a sending church”. Of course not everyone grasped this, but there were many who intentionally taught, nurtured, enabled, encouraged, financed and supported some of us to work towards God’s calling on our lives – even as we left this local congregation.'

Empowering women - Chloe Hemphill

Chloe Hemphill is Director of the Girls' Brigade in Northern Ireland

'The person who has encouraged and empowered me most is my mum. I learnt all my values from her and I thank God for what she taught me as a Christian woman and what that meant in the real world. I was brought up to believe in my own abilities and to know that with God’s help anything was possible. This gave me the determination and strength to work hard and to push myself beyond what I thought I could do. I was secure that fail or succeed she would be there for me and this gave me a freedom and confidence to follow my dreams.

When mum got sick with a brain tumour and was given weeks to live I got to see yet again first hand her amazing strength and faith. She clung so tightly to God and prayed for his peace and healing. Her courage was an inspiration to all who knew her. God blessed her with two years rather than weeks and she got to see two grandchildren born and my brother married which meant everything to her as family was so important. Throughout this time even when she was very ill she continued to encourage and empower me when work and life was difficult. When she died Jesus took her home but left us with such a gap. I try to keep positive and use what I learnt from her to keep me strong in my faith, personal and professional life. She was a remarkable women and coped with so much during her life always inspiring me to try harder and achieve more.'

Bekah Legg - who empowered you?

Bekah is Editor of Liberti Magazine and is in the process of starting a new project- Liberti life, a schools work organisation that will coordinate local churches to empower young people in Littlehampton.

'One of the things that I am most passionate about is seeing people’s potential released, encouraging people to dream big and then helping them to become all that they were created to be. That’s partly just who I am and partly because I have had two incredible guys do that for me.

The first was Richard Pendlebury, who is Director of Emmaus Bristol. I worked with him a day a week fundraising for a project in Bulgaria, while I was a single Mum trying to put my life back together after a horrible divorce. At a time when many others just saw a broken divorcee, he looked for potential in me and purposefully set about showing me that I had wings and that God still had big plans for me. Put simply, Richard believed in me. He mentored me, prayed with me, encouraged me and occasionally gave me a push off a cliff so that I would discover that I could fly.
 
I finished working with Richard when I married Steve and moved to West Sussex and he really took over where Richard left off. I have an amazing husband. He too has a real passion for giving people opportunities and enabling them to achieve and is quite simply one of the most encouraging people I have ever met. Steve asked me to speak as part of the All-Age team at Spring Harvest -I'd never done anything like it. It was the highest cliff I'd ever jumped off and I was absolutely petrified but he was so calmly confident that this was something I should do, that I did it.
 
I shook for the whole of my first talk but by the end knew that talking, preaching, just communicating was what I was born to do. I rang my Mum to tell her about this amazing experience and she reminded me that six years ago to that day I had landed back in England with two suitcases, two baby girls and a broken heart. I am still blown away by the transformation God has brought about in my life and forever thankful to Richard and Steve and many others who have been his representatives on earth to me.

I've learned that no one is too broken to be used by God and I intend to live my life helping others to step out of their ashes and to pick up a crown of beauty instead.'

Maggi Dawn - stories of empowerment

Maggi Dawn is an author, theologian and musician, and is Associate Dean and Professor at Yale Divinity School

'One of the people who has most shaped my own route into academic theology was Janet Martin Soskice, Professor of Philosophical theology at the University of Cambridge, and author of a number of renowned books, including “Sisters of Sinai”. I was, by sheer good fortune, sent along to take some of my papers with her as an undergraduate, and was instantly bowled over by the breadth and depth of her scholarship. But not only did she give my work her expert attention, I also quickly discovered that here was a person who would, if they were willing, treat her students as apprentices and friends. When I decided to stay and do doctoral work, she was my first choice of supervisor.

For me, becoming a theologian involved not just doing the work required, but gaining the confidence in myself to believe I could do it. Without a mentor who paid attention to me as a person, as well as to my work, I might never have got where I am today.  In particular, when I fell pregnant with my son half way through my PhD studies, I was dismayed to find that some of my male Professors, although they were generous with the congratulations, immediately assumed that I would be giving up my studies. Professor Soskice, though, on hearing my news, was first very excited for me, and then said, “Right, we need a strategy! You can certainly have a baby and finish your degree, we just need to work out how we’re going to do it.” She had plotted a course through her own career while having a family, and was determined that I would not be put off by the negative attitudes I was encountering elsewhere. Sure enough, with her advice and help, I completed my degree on time, and my son (who was by then nearly two) came along to the degree ceremony.  We remain good friends to this day, and she is still a source of advice and guidance when I need it.

Those who come along after us need mentors too. So I make a point now of offering some mentoring to younger men and women who have the interest and the potential to become good theologians, and make sure that they are getting plenty of personal encouragement.'

Jo Saxton - who empowered you?

Jo Saxton is the author of Influential, and a director of 3dm.

'“I’d like you to be my co leader for the summer mission trip.”

It was 1993. I was 19 years old nearing the end of my first year at Bible College. I’d loved leaving home, but exchanging my 24-hour life in London for life in the middle of nowhere was a huge culture shock. I’d given God a year to meet me or leave me alone to return to my happy not- that- Christian life. He met me. It was a turbulent year; months of wrestling and rebelling and yielding to God in different parts of my life. Then there was the backdrop of Bible College culture; I didn’t exactly fit in.

The college year culminated with the entire student body sent out in teams on 3-week mission trips around the country. These teams were led by staff and final year students who’d been trained all year. So when Alf Waite, the lead evangelist on staff invited me to lead with him, I was tempted to look over my shoulder and see if he was talking to someone else. I was this 19-year-old first year and I’d not exactly been an exemplary student. Still, he said he and the other evangelists had talked about it, prayed about it and believed that I was the right person for the role.

The invitation alone was humbling. I respected and admired Alf immensely. His faith, the way he treated people, his warmth and his wisdom. That he and the team saw something in me, saw potential of some kind was reassuring in the midst of the turbulence. God met me all over again in that invitation.

The mission trip went well, but what I remember most of all is Alf. I was no token coleader. At every stage of the mission trip, planning, team leadership, events, speaking - Alf encouraged me and gave me room to lead. He gave me tangible responsibilities and authority to lead. Despite his vast experience, Alf consulted my opinion, and responded to it. He stood with me when I failed and supported me in the midst of my immaturity and my countless mistakes. I returned from mission wondering what God might have in store for me. The turbulence was by no means over, but alongside the healing was a growing confidence that the God who’d refused to give up on me had a purpose for my life. I’d needed an opportunity to see what I could be in God’s hands. Alf had graciously made that possible.

When it comes to being empowered and learning about leadership, I owe an incredible amount to a great man, today a Methodist Superintendent minister, the Rev. Alf Waite.'

Stories of empowerment - Vicky Beeching

Vicky is a worship leader and songwriter, currently studying for a PhD in Theology at Durham University. She is passionate about impacting the online world through mediums like her blog and twitter. She sits on the planning team for Spring Harvest and works closely with the charity Compassion UK.

'It's amazing what a difference someone can make to your life, isn't it? When I look back over my journey so far, I'm deeply grateful to everyone who has invested in and believed in me. One person who always springs to mind is my youth leader from the Anglican church I attended in Canterbury. His name is Martin Podmore, but to us he was always known as 'Pod".

I was a really quiet, shy teenager. People rarely believe that now - if they see me leading worship in front of thousands of people at an event, they assume I've always been confident - but it's not true! When I was 13, even being asked to say my name in front of a small group of friends would make me blush with embarrassment and result in pink cheeks! My youth leader Pod believed that God had called me to be a worship leader, despite the fact that I was so shy. I remember how much he encouraged me after my first few attempts! Then through my teens as I began singing my own songs at youth group, he would always tell me how great they were and encourage me to use them again.

One summer in my late teens I borrowed my School's 4 Track Recorder and made a demo tape. Pod was the one who told me I should send it to Soul Survivor when they announced they were making The People's Album - a collection of songs written by youth and sung by 'known' worship leaders. Sending in that demo tape was a huge part of my journey, as Soul Survivor ended up choosing one of my songs out of the thousands submitted. Through that recording I met people like Matt Redman, Brian Doerksen and others who would encourage me to grow in my calling.

Pod was a very key force of encouragement in my life, helping me believe that I could step into all God wanted. He and his family attended Spring Harvest last year, so it was amazing to see them again. As I led in the 'Big Top', I looked out at the five thousand faces in the congregation and saw Pod, still pogo-ing up and down in worship as he always did, and I had a flashback to being 13 again in our youth group hall. It made me remember just how powerful the encouragement of one person can be. Let's do that to those around us - who knows where they'll end up if we infuse them with courage, love and confidence!'

If you have a Pod in your life who has encouraged and empowered you, why not make contact with him or her today to say thank you. And consider who you can be a Pod to!

Empowering women - Su Blanch

Su Blanch is a coach and learning facilitator.

'What a pleasure to look back and recall the many people who have empowered me to be something more than I thought I could be. All these people demonstrated courage and an ability to see some potential that I didn’t think I had.

One of those people, when I was just starting out in the world of work was Helen Mayo. She’d cheerfully make the comment “You’re my retirement strategy” and step back to allow me to try. Try a little fearfully I seem to remember, but very soon after starting that role there were meetings I was running, whole company debriefs I was presenting at and decisions that I was making that I didn’t think I was capable of. But I was. I didn’t know it at the time but I had enough to go on to do those jobs and was protected from all the things I needed to be protected from. I was given safety and space.

I now work with Claire Pedrick at 3D Coaching and once again, have experienced empowerment in safety and space. I’m thinking of a particular conversation: wanting to gain Claire’s advice on an issue I was struggling with she listened to me while I spoke about it…. After ten minutes I had all that I needed, and the majority of that had come from me exploring the challenge, rather than input from Claire. The analogy that comes to mind in these wintry days is of lighting a fire – a leader can choose to encourage the fire by careful watching and allowing it to develop itself or alternatively smother by providing all the solutions.

And the other thing I can see about empowerment is how valuable it is to have someone great to observe and notice their mastery. Both Helen and Claire – and others too in other chapters of my life – are experts, particularly in the fields of communication and leadership and it’s been great to watch how they do what they do. I’ve gained from reflecting on these observations and wondering if I can do it like that too. Realistically what happens is I do it my way, but informed by having great role model behaviour to draw on.'

How can you make sure that people have safety and space to learn, rather than being set up to fail?

Stories of empowerment - Lizzie Telfer

Lizzie Telfer is a freelance writer, youth worker and consultant: committed to empowering the next generation into Social Justice.

'I’d love to tell you about three people. All three have been a key influence and an affirming voice which have spoken into my leadership. They are not listed in an order of preference.

The first, although not said in any order of preference, is my dad, Pete. As well as being my Father, he has been a role model of adventure, someone who has inspired and encouraged me to push myself, explore and pursue my calling. He has never given me an indication that there would be a problem in my taking part because of my gender.

One specific experience that I have was during my gap year. I was just about to go and study African Studies and Development. My dad was about to head out to Uganda, to work for two weeks with a charity called ‘Send a Cow’. He asked me to join him and help him interview the local Ugandans. Two weeks of shadowing my dad, learning from him about travel and development, was one of my best experiences. It gave me a lot of confidence and experience that I could walk with into my future work. The chance to walk alongside another leader’s practical work, taught me so much. The fact that it was my dad was extra special.

My mum, Jackie is the second person. She has been a voice of affirmation and in particular a spiritual voice who has prophesied, encouraged and helped me stay true to the calling of leadership which God has given me. God has used her to shout the good news when I have been hopeless or in a season of doubt about my gifting and calling. Her wisdom and persistence at journeying with me in the truth of who God is, who I am in God and the gifting he has given me is and was a true offering particularly when I was unemployed for over a year. As well as a speaker of truth, she has helped me actively put the truth into action. She was the one who enabled me to see the possibility of self employment and journeyed with me to set myself up in freelance work.
 
Jenny Baker is the third person. I haven’t known Jenny for long but she has started mentoring me within the last year. In this short time, Jenny has empowered me through her experience of being a writer and a woman in leadership. Her guidance and wisdom has been immeasurable in how to apply my skills and also in how to look after myself. In particular she has practically enabled me to deal with the niggling lies that tell me that I am no good or that I cannot do what I am called into. Every time I meet up with Jenny I feel freedom: freedom to be myself in leadership and freedom to pursue my gifting and calling as a Christian woman.'

Empowering women - Ruth Gilson

Ruth Gilson is Director of Girls' Brigade in England and Wales and currently also working with the GB world-wide leadership team. She is loving working with a talented group of 'emerging leaders',  but sometimes wonders why we use the term - after all, does anyone ever stop emerging…..?

'Mary believes in me, Kathleen accepts me and Dennis speaks honestly to me. They are very special people and each have, differently, enabled me to grow as a leader

At 14, in Girls' Brigade, in a pretty low key, rural village Mary (‘Captain’) Driver believed in me. I was a rebel, disruptive at times, and troubled. BUT every week at GB she gave me opportunities to lead others. From sessions with the littlies to peer sessions where I painfully imposed my poor guitar skills on my friends during our worship times – she believed I was God’s and that I had leadership potential! It was Mary who secured some funding to support my time at theological college because she believed I was following Jesus in choosing that path over Uni, and it’s still Mary who prays for me now, 30+ years on as I work internationally for GB as a leader amongst leaders….little did she know!

Kathleen (now Rev Baroness Richardson of Calow!) was in her first term as a Methodist Minister when I was in that rural Yorkshire place as a troubled teenager.  Boy did I throw a lot at her. We walked her dog many times, sat looking over the hills while I was angry, confused, doubting  -  and EVERY time we met she accepted me as I was. She answered so many questions, challenged me, was a sound figure – even when in my naïve days of faith I told her I thought women shouldn’t be ordained!  And when I was in crisis at theological college. It was Kathleen that I told. I couldn’t cope as my emotions caught up with me and as my faith began to be challenged by the really alive relationship with God that I saw in others, and craved, but didn’t personally understand.

Kathleen has been in my life since my teens.  She’s always accepting of me as I am, and up for me asking deeper questions of her – about leadership, about being a woman leader, about faith. She has pioneered as a woman in leadership roles in and for church throughout her ministry – and her story has encouraged me SO MUCH! Her accepting attitude to me keeps showing me that my life as a leader is not measured by my faultlessness, but by God’s grace and love for me.

Then there’s Den Pethers. We have worked closely together for around 20 years, and I am learning more from him about pioneering, public speaking, sensing God’s movement and leading by being myself than I can ever express. His hallmark has always been sincere, caring honesty. Once, when I ‘downed’ my self in humour on stage, I remember him telling me afterwards that it was time I learnt that humility means accepting that God gives me gifts, so I should stop acting as though I am not gifted, read Philippians 2, and start offering everything I have back to God asking him to use my gifts even more!'

Claire Farley - who empowered you?

Claire Farley is a schools worker with LiNX Christian Youth Trust.

'I was not the most likely leader from our youth group.  Fairly unstable, attention seeking and rebellious I am not sure how many people would have had such faith in me, but Gareth Dickinson was my youth leader, and he believed that nothing is impossible with God, right?

Over several years Gareth and the youth team encouraged and included me, persevered with me and loved me.  They created a culture where I could grow, whether that was as part of the worship team or in the family life of the church. 

I remember when Gareth introduced cell groups and all my friends were leaders and I wasn’t.  I was so angry.  I asked him why and he said he didn’t think I was ready but he did also say that if I raised my game he would consider me for the role of a cell leader.  So that’s what I did. 

And as I drew closer to God I started to see him using me to help people.  I didn’t really know what to do, so I just did what Gareth and the team and the church family had done for me. Loved me, supported me, encouraged me, persevered with me, and it worked, the cell group I led grew.  Then Gareth asked me to worship lead and I was rubbish at it, but I was willing to try and fail in front of the youth group because I knew I had their support.  I was still fairly unstable, but accepting help, attention seeking, and trying to manage that, and rebellious, and trying less hard to manage that, but pressing on with God and loving the fact that he had given me such a wonderful youth group.

This foundation of faith in God and me from my youth worker and my church family has led to so many adventures, and I’m not even that old! (30 is not that old).  I went to university and joined the Christian Union where I became a member of the executive committee; I created a youth outreach project with friends back home which led to a youth congregation; I trained and worked as a youth leader in Uxbridge and then in Leamington Spa and now I work with young people in schools and churches in beautiful Torbay. One day I prayed that if God wanted me to serve him by encouraging youth workers nationally that I would get the chance to do that, and then I got involved in the weloveouryouthworker campaign and helped create the National Christian Youth Work Awards. 

Everywhere I’ve been God has given me great people who have empowered me and encouraged me to do his work.  And as I approach the start of my appointment as Project Manager for LiNX Christian Youth Trust I have faith in him and in me and in the people he has put around me because I know from my own life that nothing is impossible with God.'

Read Sarah Dale's story to hear about someone that Claire has empowered. So Gareth's action has released not one, but two gifted women into ministry. Just think about the cucmulative effect of your words and actions!

Claire Pedrick - stories of empowerment

Claire Pedrick is an Executive Coach and Director of 3D Coaching

'Returning to the UK after time working in Kenya was hard – and settling in London knowing very few people was even harder.  At school, I had always ducked out of the reading-the-notices-rota because I didn’t want to be on stage.  In plays, I was always yokel number 3.  Here I was, culture shocked, needing to make new friends fast and stepping up into a role which had a high profile of public speaking – which I enjoyed and was learning to do.  And then I met Mary-Jo Radcliffe on the stairs of my flat.  

She was moving in – after leaving a convent after 25 years.  I had missed Live Aid and Sarah’s wedding to Prince Andrew.  She had been inside as long as I had been alive – and her culture shock was huge.
Over gin and tonic – a treat for us both - she would listen, encourage and challenge me.  I now know that those occasional hours were, in fact her coaching me to be the best I could be – a profession which I have now developed myself.  When I had to stretch to new things, she helped me believe it would be possible.  When things went wrong, she would listen. She is now godmother to my now adult daughter – a fantastic way for her to pass on the baton of learning and encouragement.

And then there was my boss Colin South – a Quaker who helped me understand what it means to integrate my faith and my work, who asked me to represent our organisation on conferences and at events – and taught me that all people are equal and that status is not a great thing.

Mary –Jo, Colin and others have helped me to learn that when we are developing people, sometimes we need to get out of the way and let them take the sexy opportunities. And to support, encourage and then stand back and watch them fly.'

Ruth Valerio - stories of empowerment

Ruth Valerio runs A Rocha UK's Living Lightly programme and is part of the leadership of Spring Harvest

'I love the subject matter of this blog series. I think it’s really interesting and it got me thinking about who I could write about. Who has encouraged me over the years? Who has pushed me to take risks and not be bound by my worries and insecurities. To begin with I couldn’t really think of specific people, but then I thought back years ago to my university days and remembered someone very special indeed.

Having been brought up in a missionary-based family that believed in absolute equality between women and men (and never having particularly given it much thought), I arrived fresh and naïve at Cambridge University to hit head on the cultural baggage of the Christian Union. I discovered a CU that had never had a female president and would not have a female speaker, despite the long list of very qualified names that I passed on to the then president.

I remember one particular evening that was launching a mission. As we prayed I felt that I had a picture for the mission that God wanted me to share. I spoke to the president about it who put his head on one side and said to me, ‘I don’t think it would be a good idea to share it publically because it might be divisive, but why don’t you just tell me so that I can be encouraged?’ On another occasion I had a conversation with my college CU rep about why there wasn’t equality between the women and the men in the CU, and he put his head on one side and said in his most patronising voice, ‘yes Ruth, but we’re all equal at the foot of the cross’.

AAARRGGHHH!!!

What a contrast then was the student group that belonged to Cambridge Community Church, which I attended whilst at uni. Ironically, it too held a complementarian position and women actually carried little squares of cloth to put on their heads if they prayed publically (I remember my utter astonishment when I first saw that!). But Jonathan, who led the student work, wasn’t into any of that and was a wonderful dynamic leader who was only interested in releasing and working with anyone who showed signs of leadership themselves. So he quickly got me involved in the group, and before long I was one of a team of people leading it with him. The group grew and we had some amazing times together, experiencing God moving in people’s lives and watching them come to know Him.

It was my first real experience of leadership: of being trusted and pushed to begin feeling my way into the giftings that God had given me, and I’m forever grateful to Jonathan for that.'

Whatever your understanding of what the Bible says about women and leadership, how can you encourage women to use and develop the gifts that God has given them?

Virginia Luckett - empowering women

Virginia Luckett is a mother, wife and Auntie to a small army. She works for Tearfund and is ordained in the Church of England.

'I've been fortunate to know some good men in my life.

My dad has always had high aspirations for me, being a girl meant I could do most things. Tim, my husband, has always had high expectations of me and has challenged, cajoled and encouraged me. I get a bit nervous using a circular saw, but I’m good with a drill, can plaster walls and fit plugs. It’s Tim who does the cooking and washing in our house.

Reflecting back I remember crucial conversations with both these men. Like the one with my dad when I was about twelve, we were painting the inside of a wardrobe together and he said if you like science you could go to Cambridge and become a doctor…not that this happened, but the fact that my dad thought I could, made a big difference. Like the one I had with Tim standing in our kitchen about 20 years ago when he said, if you don’t go out to work, we could lose the house and how will that be for children? – OK it was extreme, but it propelled me out the door and was the start of an exciting journey that has led me to where I am now. It was Tim who also said some five years later, I don’t know why you are looking at doing a first degree with the OU; you should do a part time Masters, what about the LSE?  I thank God for these conversations. Empowerment for me has been a virtuous circle of others' belief in my potential and my own self-belief and growing confidence in my abilities matched with opportunity. This is how it goes.

It was when I became a Christian five years after I married Tim I learnt some theology for this experience – I am made in God’s image therefore fully invested in the potential he has for my life. He will work out his purposes in me if I follow where Jesus is leading in obedience. God love, love, loves me and knows the plans he has for me. Knowing Jesus has been utterly transformative. I also apply this theology at work and expect to meet God in my colleagues.

Over my working career I have mostly had male bosses, all good, confident, intelligent, successful men. These men, Derek, Malcolm and Andrew, have seen my potential and have given me the responsibility for difficult things that have stretched me beyond my existing knowledge and experience. They have trusted me. Often they have asked me to do things they don’t have knowledge of themselves and we have learnt together what the solution looks like. It’s humbling to be in that place. I have the greatest respect and admiration for all three of them as they have shown something of what Jesus is like. I thank God for them.'

Is there someone you know who needs their aspirations raised? Who doesn't see the potential in themselves that you know is there? How can you encourage and challenge them to raise their sights?

Stories of empowerment - Wendy Beech-Ward

Wendy Beech-Ward is Director of Spring Harvest and Youthwork the conference

I never actually knew my dad.  We lived under the same roof for 9 years of my life.  But I never actually knew him.  I can’t remember a conversation I had with him – I think he only ever came on one family holiday.  So to all intents and purposes I was raised by my mother who did it all on her own.

When I was growing up there weren’t many kids who came from what got called ‘broken homes’. I actually had an argument with a teacher once when she blamed my bad behaviour on my ‘broken home’.  I invited her round to see our house, which wasn’t broken at all – she didn’t think I was funny or clever.  I thought I was both. Strangely, she didn’t accept my invitation.

My mum went back to work when I was about three months old.  She had no choice. If she’d had the choice she would have stayed at home.  But she didn’t have the choice so she went to work and raised her kids on her own.  So the first woman who mentored me was my mum – she showed me that hard work, politeness and determination can get you through even the toughest circumstances.  And, that ‘digging in’ goes a long way.

The second woman who mentored me didn’t know she was doing it.  But I watched Mrs Fincham every day at school.  I saw how much she cared for us, how happy she was and how she always wanted us to succeed.  I wanted to be like her so I asked her ‘why are you like you are?’  She told me that ‘she was a Christian’.  I wasn’t expecting that answer – I’m from a never-churched background – and I thought all Christians were, well, nerds.  I was part of the cool gang so Christians had a bit of a credibility problem with me.

I decided that Mrs Fincham had never lied to me before so I didn’t think she’d start then so I gave Christianity a go.  I started going to church – it was terrible.  I didn’t know the jargon, the songs were boring, the meetings went on forever, but more than that I thought people weren’t very real.  Going to church was the worst part of my week.  I felt like an outsider and I’d never felt like one of those before. 

It was difficult but I trusted Mrs Fincham and wanted to be like her so I ‘dug in’ and somewhere in the digging Jesus found me.  And, everyone in the school knew I’d changed – when the toughest girl in the school gets God everyone knows.

After a while though, even though I knew Jesus was real and had dramatically transformed my life, I got bored of church and my inability to fit in so I did what my mother told me never to do and decided to ‘dig out’.  Life was good.  I had a great group of friends – we’re still friends now – and I had the personal relationship with Jesus everyone talked about.  It felt like a perfect arrangement. 

Then my life went on a rollercoaster.  It was October, I was 15 and my granddad was diagnosed with cancer.  He died in March. One day after his funeral my dad went into hospital and 3 days later he was diagnosed with cancer – it was my exam year and it was horrific.  He died in July. He was 48, I was 16 and still hadn’t had a conversation with him and now I never would.  On the day of his funeral my uncle went into hospital.  He was diagnosed with cancer and he died a month later.  I’d given up on ‘digging in’ by then.  In one year, the three male role models in my life had died.  The women came to the rescue – I learnt a lot about being a woman and coping with what life throws at you that year from my mum, my sister, my nana and my auntie.

In the midst of all of this I knew that a still small voice was trying to get through to me.  I turned my music up loud and tried to drown it out.  But I couldn’t.  And that still small voice got louder and louder and I knew I had to respond. So I went back to church.

Fortunately at about the same time I did a four week evangelism team with YFC.  So the next people to mentor me were the amazing women I worked with at Youth for Christ (YFC).  I’m so thankful to them for the way they shaped me in my formative years. I loved being surrounded by women – peers – who cheered me on and I them.  We rejoiced in each other’s successes, guided each other through difficult situations, and were there for each other when life went wrong.

I’m also really grateful for the men in YFC – my first encounter with egalitarians – who worked hard to ensure that there weren’t any barriers to me fulfilling my potential based on my gender.  I’m grateful that for these formative years the ‘playing field’ felt level.  And I so wish for all young women that it felt that way now.

As I look back on my life and my faith journey, I realise that I’ve never actually had an official mentor but I’ve been privileged to be surrounded by fantastic people – women and men – who I’ve ‘looked and learned’ from.  And it’s still true today.  My best friend, Vicky (Beeching), and I talk all the time.  We both value being totally known, totally accepted and totally loved not because of the role you do but because of who you are.  I learn so much from her and the way she walks with Jesus.  We also make each other laugh like nobody else does which ensures we’re never in danger of taking ourselves too seriously – which in our line of ‘work’ can be a bit of a danger. 

I’m also fortunate to have a wider circle of female friends who are totally amazing – they challenged me, provoke me, keep me on track and cheer me on.  And I hope I do the same for them.  I learn so much from them and know that my life and character are richer for the part they play in my journey.  So even if you haven’t got an official Mentor look around and learn from the people who are right in front of you – your life will be richer for it.

Sally Nash - who empowered you?

Dr Sally Nash is Director of the Midlands Centre for Youth Ministry

I have no idea of the name of the woman who empowered me!  She was a representative of the Church Army who came to my school when I was in the sixth form and talked about joining the Church Army as a volunteer for a summer project.

Looking back now I would say that the Holy Spirit prompted me to apply but at that time I didn't have that sort of language to use and it just seemed like a good idea.  A few months later found me at Brize Norton taking a plane to RAF Gutersloh with a small team headed up by Ron and Joyce Bussell, Church Army Officers on our way to run holiday clubs for children of service families who were stationed in Germany.  I was 17, it was the first time I had ever been abroad, ever been in a plane and I was leaving my family for a month - all very new experiences for a shy young woman who had no idea that this would be the first step of what would become a vocation to serve God in Christian ministry.  I still look back at that summer as one of the happiest and most significant of my life.  It gave me a passion for working with children and young people and helped me to see the freedom you have in doing that in an overtly Christian environment.  I got to live alongside people who were passionate for Christ and the gospel and some of it rubbed off on me!  

My teenage years at church were also empowering; I learnt that all Christians should serve God and that as Christians we had a wider responsibility and should make our voices heard in the political and wider realm.  I am very grateful to the Christian Union of Reading University, the workers from Campus Crusade for Christ and those who led the youth work at Wycliffe Baptist Church in the 70s.  I don't really remember many names and I moved away from Reading long ago but I am so grateful for those who empowered me, who taught me what it was to live a life dedicated to God and who sowed the seeds that are still bearing fruit today.  Sadly I have not been able to thank any of them so this is dedicated to all the church  youth workers who serve God faithfully who never know how much difference they make in the lives of their young people.